the inner monologue of watching someone facebook stalk your ex.

OK, this girl next to me really likes to Facebook chat in class. That's cool, more likely I'll get an A.
...
Is she Facebook chatting my ex? She can't be.
...leans in, pretending to strech...
...
Yep. Yep. She is definitely Facebook chatting my ex.
...Shock. Horror...

....
Too far away to read what is being said. Crap.
....
Oh, now she has clicked on his profile. Yeah girl, I know, he's not very photogenic. I understand why your made this face:

...
Wait, why am I sympathizing with her? Only I'm allowed to judge his lack of normal Facebook proficiency. WHY ARE YOU EVEN LOOKING AT HIS PAGE?
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Why are they still chatting? Are they hooking up? Have they hooked up? Maybe they're just planning a mixer.
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Maybe they're talking about how heartbroken they are after their latest breakups and how awesome their exes are. Maybe they're just talking about having high IQs. Maybe she's bringing legal charges against him and they're angrily messaging about the details of his plea bargain.
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Or maybe they're hooking up.
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MAYBE THEY ARE PLANNING AN ELABORATE SCHEME FOR HIM TO COME TO OUR MUTUAL CLASS AND BEG ME TO GET BACK TOGETHER SINCE IT'S ALMOST THE MOST ROMANTIC HOLIDAY KNOWN TO MAN.
...silent judgment of self for even having that thought...
....
Well, fuck.