Tuesday, January 29, 2013

lessons we've learned about dating. and life. but mostly dating.

1) One flaw = leverage. Many flaws = run.

2) It's generally a good idea to fully assess a guy's potential to become a murderer in the next five-ten years. This sounds obvious, but it is incredibly easy to develop blinders to what you would otherwise see as charming qualities. Like if he is a javelin thrower. Or if he has more hair on his chin than on his head. Just think about these things.

3) One act of kindness does not make a guy NOT an asshole. Even if its something really cute, like showing up at a performance or a gallery opening or your little sister's dance recital or something. Maybe he is a nice guy, but never underestimate the lengths a guy will go to in order to get laid.

4) Never trust guys who don't like red meat. Or chocolate. Or snacks, which is a lesson we learned from our good friend Mindy (Kaling, obviously.)

5) How a guy dresses really does say things about him as a person. This does not mean that a guy must be borderline metrosexual, but hygiene and a general sense of taste goes a long way. Red flags to watch out for: -Flannel as outerwear.
-What could easily be mistaken as women's pants or shoes.
-Headbands in general.
-Man leggings. Apparently this is a thing now, and unless you're in a performance of Romeo and Juliet this has never been and will never be okay. (Meggings?)
-Muscle tees if there is no muscle to be displayed.
-Hoods indoors. (Maggie notes: This is a personal pet peeve. Unless it is suddenly raining from the roof of your classroom or you are actually a fugitive, behave like an adult.)
-Backpacks in the professional world. Similarly, sneakers in the professional world. ("Are you in a fraternity? Are you Steve Jobs? Hold on a second, are you the billionaire owner of Apple Computers? Well, in that case, you have no right to wear New Balance sneakers. Ever." -Ryan Gosling, Crazy Stupid Love)

6) If you're in limbo with someone relationship-wise, you'll probably be in limbo until one of you gets married or dies.

Addendum to this gif: A person either has to be (a) perfect or (b) Ryan Gosling to be exactly what you need.

Mandy + Maggie

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